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Cottonwood

by Megan Bee

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1.
The sun slips over the edge of the reservoir dam Your hand slips into mine Fingers intertwined Waiting in silence for a question Waiting in silence for a question Dragonfly skips the water like a skipping stone The thoughts skip across my mine Water and the shoreline collide Floating on a wave of anticipation Floating on a wave of anticipation Cottonwood leaves shaking in the breeze I’m standing here shaking in my knees Cottonwood leaves shaking in the breeze I’m shaking… The swallow skims the surface of a quiet lake You skim through a book about birds Take a deep breath and then you turn Scanning the sky for a hesitation Scanning the sky for a hesitation Cottonwood leaves shaking in the breeze I’m standing here shaking in my knees Cottonwood leaves shaking in the breeze I’m shaking… x2 The sun slips over the edge of the reservoir dam Your hand slips into mine Fingers intertwined Waiting in silence for a question Waiting in silence…
2.
Used To Be 03:14
I’m trying to be quiet, I’m trying to listen Trying to figure out what I’ve been missing I listen for the thunder, listen for the night bird Listen for a melody, Listen for the right words Chorus: Take me down Take me in Turn me around Take me home again I’ve been waiting, waiting to see If I’ll ever return to what I use to be I was a wild one, the color of a moth wing I was the summer sun, I was heat lightning I was a cold rain, I was a moon flower I was a summer night, I was a meteor shower Chorus Now I’m sweeping out the cupboards, trapping all the mice Shaking out the bugs in the middle of the night Digging through the boxes, pushing around the dirt Sorting through the papers, I’m still looking for the words Chorus
3.
When the beach is asleep Under a blanket of snow Long after the summer When all tourists go home I kneel down by the water Pray my soul to keep That’s when I start dreaming When the beach is asleep July was all sunshine Swimsuits and tan skin Selling cold beer and souvenirs Yeah the money rolled in September was a hurricane It all washed up in heap And I comb through rubble Now that the beach is asleep The roads are all closed and The ferry route is frozen Charlie’s little bar is the Only place open And we sit around the woodstove Us few left behind Eating boiled clams and oysters Passing bottles of wine When the beach is asleep Under a blanket of snow I close my shop for the winter It’s all quiet in my home And I tuck into the silence Breathe a sigh of relief (That’s when I start dreaming When the beach is asleep) x2
4.
Snowplow 02:06
You got your big snow plow, you’re headed for my door You’re shifting gears, you got the gas to the floor Were you gonna slow down, stop and ask me? Our were you gonna plow right past me Take your snow plow and head uptown You can find something else to push around You talking to me through a crooked tooth Telling me I’m the one who ought to let loose But I was just enjoying some company I didn’t want your hands all over me Take your snow plow and head uptown You can find something else to push around Cause it ain’t me, I ain’t gonna be pushed around It ain’t me, I tried to slow it down But you just ran me over, now it’s over So I called my momma just to have a good cry And to hear her say, yeah forget that guy To hear her say I deserve better I god I hope I can get a break from this weather Take your snow plow and head uptown You can find something else to push around Take your snow plow right this minute Take your snow plow. I'll tell you where to stick it.
5.
Never Known 03:15
My mother was known for her sweet apple pie My father was known for his suit and his tie My brother was known for his green speckled eyes But I was never known My house was known for being at the end of the lane Big picture windows with one broken pane And a tire swing hanging from a rusty chain But I was never known I was never here in this world long enough I came in and and I left here alone I was a spark that never grew into a fire I was never known My history was known on the old family tree The roots and the branches grew strong it grew free And there were names there were dates there was a place there for me But I was never known I was never here in this world long enough I came in and and I left here alone I was a spark that never grew into a fire I was never known I hope to pass through here the next time around Stay a little longer take a breath touch the ground Until then I’ll be waiting in the big lost and found I was never known x2
6.
Sister 03:41
Hunting morels, harvesting ramps Me and my sister out at the camp The first week of May we come and we stay for a while Spying on birds up in the trees Listing for warbles as the little birds sing A flash of yellow through the green and we smile Well she only comes once a year But it’s the very best time of year When the warblers the wildflowers and the waterfalls And my sister are here Catching a tadpole, kissing a frog Searching for life under a log The world is alive and nothing can hide from us now Counting the flowers we tiptoe around The colors and patterns that cover the ground The world is exploding exposing her beauty somehow Chorus Through the long dark winter grey We talk on the phone thousands of miles away And it’s a comfort to me But I long for the day Chorus
7.
Ecstacy 03:28
We were doing ecstasy under the desert sky In the sand dunes on the 4th of July We were watching fireworks, trying to figure out how things work We were staring at the colors in eachothers eyes And I want to see you look that way again sometime I want to see you look that way next time maybe without the drugs next time You were tripping on lsd at the big rock show You were doing the twist and the bump you were really letting go You were jumping up and down, spinning round and round You were kicking heels up so high And I want to see you dance that way again sometime I want to see you dance that way next time maybe without the drugs next time You were always out there, so far out there x2 You were on a morphine drip after your big accident You were on some pretty strong drugs you took them like a sacrament I was sitting by your hospital bed you said you could see inside my head And on you face was a big ridiculous smile And I want to see you smile that way again sometime I want to see you smile that way next time maybe without the drugs next time
8.
Rolls Away 03:00
He’s the prince of the pins He’s the king of the lanes He’s the head of the team every thursday And he’s bowling for the win And he’s bowling for the quiet And he’s lost in the sound of the crash and the fall And it all rolls away It all rolls away x2 He steps to the line And he pulls back his hand And the weight of the world falls away and it lands He just lets go and it rolls And it all rolls away It all rolls away x2 Cheap beer in plastic cups Two friends who don’t know him enough about him To bring up anything uncomfortable So it all rolls away It all rolls away x2
9.
Fever 02:59
Woke with a fever, Woke with a fever In the wilderness I’ve been digging up roots, Living on bark and moss And bitterness And I’m not the same woman that I once was I’m not the same And I’m not the same woman that I once was I’m not the same after all I cut my skin Down to the bone And my hair is turning white I saw the flame Flicker of my soul Nearly burn out in the dark of the night And I’m not the same woman that I once was I’m not the same And I’m not the same woman that I once was I’m not the same after all After all that I’ve been through will you still love me If you look into my eyes will you still see me I hope you’re waiting I hope you’re waiting For me to come back home I’m coming to you I’m crawling to you But I’m afraid you won’t recognize me anymore And I’m not the same woman that I once was I’m not the same And I’m not the same woman that I once was I’m not the same after all
10.
Andy 02:56
Andy you’re as tall as the sunflowers Steady as the summer sun Quiet as a mouse Andy I remember back in second grade All the other boys were pulling my braids You were staring at the birds Andy I’ve been watching you growing up I’ve been growing up too Andy with your books and your papers Sitting up in an oak tree Looking out at the world Andy you were down in the creek bed You found yourself an arrowhead In the slate and the shale Andy I’ve been watching you growing up I’ve been growing up too Andy Andy I guess I never really noticed you The way that I noticed you Last Saturday night You were standing all alone by the window Everybody else was dancing You were staring at the moon Andy I want to know what you’re seeing Wish you were looking at me The way you stare at the trees Andy I’ve been watching you growing up Have you been watching me growing up Pay attention to me
11.
Fickle 03:23
She is fickle She is fumbling She is finding her way Through the puzzles, through the crosswords Through the thoughts in her brain She always writes in pencil Never permanent ink She is fickle She is fumbling She doesn’t know what to think She is careful She is cautious She is catching her breath Through the ropes, through the tangle Of the knots in her head She studies all the turns Never rushes around She is careful She is cautious She never gets too tied down And I love to watch her move And I never know where she’s going to She is playful She is patient She is placing her bets On the hand she’s been dealt On the cards in her deck She laughs at her chances And she makes her bet small She is playful She is patient She knows she can’t win them all And I love to watch her move And I never know where she’s going to
12.
Fast Johnny 03:42
Johnny drives a race car, he speeds down city street He’s running all the red lights, he’s catching all the heat He’s got a glove box full of tickets and a danger in his eye And if you get into his car there’s a chance you’re gonna die I said hold on Johnny drives a speedboat, he roars across the river Yeah he’s cutting through the quiet, he’s splashing all the swimmers And if you’re gonna ride along you’d better hold on to your ass There’s only one speed Johnny knows and that’s really fucking fast I said hold on Johnny you’re just a big streak of blue How am I ever gonna catch you Johnny had a date last night, he came to pick me up He pulled up in the front in a supped up pick-up truck And I was lacing up my boots, I said I’ll only me a minute He said “girl, time is of the essence”, he drove away without me in it I said hold on I said hold on! Johnny you’re just a big streak of blue How am I ever gonna catch you Johnny drives a rocket ship, he’s shooting to the sun He’s blasting through the atmosphere, so long everyone He’s got the thrusters they’re engaged, he’s got the boosters at full blast There’s only one speed Johnny knows and that’s really fucking fast I said hold on, and he said so long Johnny you’re just a big streak of blue How am I ever gonna catch you Johnny you’re just a big streak of blue Guess I’m never gonna catch you
13.
Wish I Knew 04:02
I wish I knew what you were thinking Everytime that you were drinking Everytime that you were sinking Into silence I wish I knew what you were saying About the debt that you’ve been paying About the game that we’re all playing How we’re all hiding I wish I knew you as child When you were free and you were wild Before you lost that easy smile I wish I knew I wish I knew I wish I knew what you were feeling When you were staring at the ceiling But you never would reveal You’d just turned out the lights I wish I knew what you were holding Some heavy burden, Heavy scolding A fire that keeps on smoldering But it never ignites I wish I knew you as child When you were free and you were wild Before you lost that easy smile I wish I knew I wish I knew how to open up a box Without tearing off the top Without breaking all the locks I wish I knew I wish I knew how to let go Of that aching desire to know And the need to throw a rope Each time you’re sinking I wish I knew how to give it space Look myself in the face Leave with a little grace Before I break I wish you knew me as a child When I was free and I was wild I had such an easy smile I wish you knew And I wish we knew how to open up this box Just go tearing off the top Breaking all the locks I wish we knew I wish we knew
14.
Fall Down 03:14
Oh what a relief to fall down x2 I’d been hanging on there such a long time now Oh what a relief to fall down Oh what a glory to change x2 I was born a little green but there was gold in my veins Oh what a glory to change Oh what a joy to take a rest x2 I’d been turning sunshine to sugar all year I tried my best Oh what a joy to take a rest Now I’m laying in the grass on an autumn day x2 Here comes a north wind to blow me away Laying in the grass on an autumn day Oh what a relief to fall down x2 I’d been hanging on there such a long time now Oh what a relief to fall down

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released February 14, 2022

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Megan Bee Athens, Ohio

Singer-songwriter Megan Bee writes with an unquenchable wanderlust and a raw love for the land. Her fourth studio album "Cottonwood" releases February 2022. It follows "Waiting" (2020) which was named album of the year by The Ark of Music. Bee has won The Ohio Music Awards Best Americana and Best Singer-Songwriter Albums along with a finalist spot in the USA Songwriting Competition. ... more

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